Well, according to the Bangor Daily News, Anthony Weiner’s sentence is over.

Weiner, should anybody want to bother to remember, was the politician who no doubt embarrassed his mother by misbehaving in public. Crude texts with impolite photos — you know, that sort of thing. Quite uncalled for. I feel bad for his mother. In a peculiar example of how it is, indeed, a small world, Anthony Weiner’s mother was my sixth-grade math teacher. Oh, dear. Her boy is out of stir now, at any rate. I’d imagine she’d just as soon that bit of news — with all of the gory details — had stayed out of the papers.

I was going through a pile of Bangor Dailies the other day before I took them out to recycling, and it was amazing just how much news I’d missed on first reading. I hate to give up on print newspapers, but I don’t have a daily routine, so they pile up and sometimes get ahead of me.

“Jim Fowler of Wild Kingdom dies” brought back memories of watching “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” as a child. While ol’ Marlon Perkins chatted with viewers in the foreground, his understated patter laden with references to the benefits of insurance, Tom was back there getting menaced by alligators. Amazingly, he lived to 89 and did not, in fact, succumb to snakebite, rabies, dismemberment, constriction, stampede, etc.

On the subject of wildlife, birder and regular BDN columnist Bob Duchesne brings us, “The elaborate courtship of the American Woodcock.” In this article we learn a few of the other names for the bird, including “timberdoodle, Labrador twister, hokumpoke, fiddle squeak, bogsucker, and mud-snipe.” Spell-check does not care for those options and, to be frank, I’ve never heard any of those names. We always called it “the greep bird.”

“First elver season under new rules sees strong harvest, good money.” Finally, an important story about eels! Last year at this time the papers were rife with important stories about eels. Somebody did very kindly direct my attention to an internet story — not in the BDN — about eel-flavored soda-pop in Japan. That proved some real encouragement to stick with old-fashioned print newspapers.

“Rockweed not a plant” was an interesting science article unfortunately stuck on the op-ed page. The Maine Supreme Judicial Court, the Department of Marine Resources, the two professors of biology who wrote this essay, and lots of potential harvesters are deep in the weeds, as it were, over who has the right to the stuff. “If there is no judicial remedy for redefining rockweed accurately, legislative mechanisms should be used to correct the error.” I generally favor the term “bladder-wrack.” In any case, I guess rockweed is the new eel: it is certainly getting lots of attention in the media.

“Japanese forest bathing catching on in U.S.” refers simply to the hobby of walking or sitting quietly in the woods which, most around here would agree, can be good for the mental health. Hopefully Japanese eel-flavored refreshments are not also catching on in U.S.

Chalking tires was deemed unconstitutional, but only in some states. The man who sued Betty Crocker is back in prison. “ ‘Pet Sematary’ isn’t that scary and it doesn’t look like Maine.” OK, duly noted. The inventor of Swiss Miss hot cocoa mix died at 101. Actually, that was a fairly interesting story: It turns out the instant-hot-chocolate industry was an offshoot of a Korean War Army contract to supply coffee creamer in massive quantities, and Charles Sanna, the creator of Swiss Miss, was also superintendent of submarine construction at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. Learning all that made me glad I’d read the last weeks’ newspapers over again.

In another story about eels the headline read, “4 arrested for poaching elvers, drug possession.” Well, we have got our priorities.

“Readers suggest best mud activities” is, yes, an actual newspaper headline. Welcome to spring in Maine. Suggestions include “placing small wagers on some idjit in a high-rise truck powering over a washboard dirt road and breaking an axle.” Sounds like my neighborhood. Thank you, John Holyoke.

There was a piece about yoga with lemurs. You probably thought the trend was yoga with goats, but no, lemurs. There was, however, a piece about driving with goats, or at least somebody driving with one goat, said goat riding in her lap. I think she got a ticket. The driver, I mean.

On the same date in April, we learned, Robert E. Lee surrendered at Appomattox, the Titanic set sail, “The Great Gatsby” was published, Branch Rickey hired Jackie Robison for the Brooklyn Dodgers, the U.S. table tennis team arrived in China to begin “ping-pong diplomacy” and the Northern Ireland peace talks were concluded. Locally, people in Maine argued about rockweed. Also, eels.